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There are many Humorous Caption Contests, ranging from The New Yorker to Cinematical, but I thought we’d try a different slant. Let’s try a caption contest whose goal is to provide an erudite quip, a recondite comment, a pretentious aphorism.

I won’t necessarily penalize for humor, but I’m looking for arrogant, show-off-y knowledge and/or obscure, artistic references, et cetera. I’m not above sending out a prize for the best one, but for now we’ll consider recognition as suitable enough reward. The contest will go for one week, after which (next Wednesday) I’ll declare a winner from the suggestions posted in the comment section and provide another picture to flout our obnoxiousness over.

The frame is from Krzysztof Kieslowski’s brilliant “Amator” (poorly translated as Camera Buff):


1 Jacob, Joshua
2 Daniel, David
3 Jayden, Jordan
4 Ethan, Evan
5 Taylor, Tyler
6 Gabriella, Isabella
7 Isaac, Isaiah
8 Madison, Morgan
9 Elijah, Isaiah
10 Ella, Emma
11 Landon, Logan
12 Logan, Lucas
13 Matthew, Michael
14 Faith, Hope
15 Isabella, Sophia
16 Olivia, Sophia
17 James, John
18 Madison, Mason
19 Brandon, Bryan
20 Hailey, Hannah
21 Mackenzie, Madison
22 Nathan, Nicholas
23 Addison, Aiden
24 Caleb, Joshua
25 Christian, Christopher

See below for the rest:

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One morning, Donald Revell came to the following passage and could not resist the urge to e-mail it to his friend:

One bell did not ring loud enough to satisfy the people so they took an axe up to the bell and beat the bell with the axe till they beat it all to pieces.

Less than an hour later, Bob replied. His e-mail read: “Just back from visit to not one but two family cemeteries. Small world!” And he attached a new poem:

One bell wouldn’t ring loud enough.
So they beat the bell to hell, Max,
with an axe, show it who’s boss,
boss. Me, I dreamt I dwelt in
someplace one could relax
but I was wrong, wrong, wrong.
You got a song, man, sing it.
You got a bell, man, ring it.
Old Story

From Heaven’s Commonplace: Hoc Opus, Hic Labor Est, Remembering Robert Creeley by Donald Revell


(image via)

Lines from Tony Hoagland (from “At the Galleria Shopping Mall”):

Today is the day she stops looking at faces,
and starts assessing the labels of purses;
So let it begin. Let her be dipped in the dazzling bounty
and raised and wrung out again and again.
Hailey Leithauser : “Was you ever bit by a dead bee” + some lines (from “O, She Says”):
O covetous tongue, O fat fandango,
O gnat tango in the hot, ochered light,
O wind whirred leaves in subtle inferno,
O flexing of sea, O stars bolted tight,

Kevin McFadden puns quite a bit, sometimes regrettably. There’s quite a doozy of a pun in his poem “Teeth

A fascinating Conceptual Poem from the inimitable Christian Bok : The Great Order of the Universe

Also the Clive James essay “The Necessary Minimum” is worth it.

Radiohead is recording again.

Click here to download the newest song.



When I was fourteen I created a parody character I called Darkbloodkill Deathblade.

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  • What's more embarrassing: that I'm eating gluten free rice crackers for a snack or that I'm even asking this? 1 month ago
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August 2009
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