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William Shake-speare : Sonnet 130

Dim Lady

My honeybunch’s peepers are nothing like neon. Today’s special at Red Lobster is redder than her kisser. If Liquid paper is white, her racks are institutional beige. If her mop were Slinkys, dishwater Slinkys would grow on her noggin. I have seen tablecloths in Shakey’s Pizza Parlors, red and white, but no such picnic colors do I see in her mug. And in some minty-fresh mouthwashes there is more sweetness than in the garlic breeze my main squeeze wheezes. I love to hear her rap, yet I’m aware that Muzak has a hipper beat. I don’t know any Marilyn Monroes. My ball and chain is plain from head to toe. And yet, by gosh, my scrumptious Twinkie has as much sex appeal for me as any lanky model or platinum movie idol who’s hyped beyond belief.

–Harryette Mullen

Follow me on the Twittah

  • Wife: What are you working on? Me: My blood alcohol level. Wife: ... Me: BaDum TSS!* *[me falling into drumkit] 3 days ago
  • What do you call it when you use bourbon instead of vodka in a Bloody Mary? Oh yeah, an alcoholic. Right. 4 days ago
  • With zero ability or desire to follow directions and total lack in all technical skills, you too could learn to cook/whatever just like me. 3 weeks ago
  • Dadbod in the streets, but RADbod- just kidding, dadbod between the sheets as well. 3 weeks ago
  • It's not often, but sometimes I use phrases I don't understand per capita. 4 weeks ago

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