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William Shake-speare : Sonnet 130

Dim Lady

My honeybunch’s peepers are nothing like neon. Today’s special at Red Lobster is redder than her kisser. If Liquid paper is white, her racks are institutional beige. If her mop were Slinkys, dishwater Slinkys would grow on her noggin. I have seen tablecloths in Shakey’s Pizza Parlors, red and white, but no such picnic colors do I see in her mug. And in some minty-fresh mouthwashes there is more sweetness than in the garlic breeze my main squeeze wheezes. I love to hear her rap, yet I’m aware that Muzak has a hipper beat. I don’t know any Marilyn Monroes. My ball and chain is plain from head to toe. And yet, by gosh, my scrumptious Twinkie has as much sex appeal for me as any lanky model or platinum movie idol who’s hyped beyond belief.

–Harryette Mullen

Follow me on the Twittah

  • The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making us believe superhero films could be realistic. 5 months ago
  • Ugh, I just heard a store playing some Cyber Monday music. 5 months ago
  • "You get a flower girl. You get a flower girl. Ever Bah Dee Gets Sa Flowah Gaaaarl" -weddings these days 5 months ago
  • The Black Friday sale in this store is insane! Everything's a dollar. EVERYTHING! The name of the store is Everything's a Dollar. 5 months ago
  • I like to point out that the musical acts in the parade are lip-synching. Sorry if you're the sort that wants to kill me & is married to me. 5 months ago

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