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  • What's more embarrassing: that I'm eating gluten free rice crackers for a snack or that I'm even asking this? 3 months ago
  • Youngest son's soccer team kicks more goals than the other team. Still loses. 4 months ago
  • Hey buddy, nice purse. Yeah I know it's a baby bjorn & that you're an amazing dad, but the thing is you'll never catch me in that thing. 4 months ago
  • To forestall my midlife crisis, my wife is allowing me to put a racers stripe on the mini van. 4 months ago
  • I don't care if you think I'm crude & sexist, if I see you with two large coffee mugs and you're my wife I'm going to say, "Hey, nice mugs." 4 months ago

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