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  • Give a man a whiskey and he relaxes for a day. Teach a man how to whiskey and words can't work good any more. 47 minutes ago
  • God sees our plans to not go to Walmart and laughs. 2 hours ago
  • "Give a man a weekend and everything looks like a whiskey" -ancient proverb, I bet. 3 hours ago
  • Wife sent a pic of her holding a screwdriver to fix something & it took me 20 whole minutes before I made a sex joke, is why I must be sick. 4 hours ago
  • "Sunshine above my shoulder/ almost makes me happy," -short people covering John Denver. 1 day ago

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