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  • The most important step on 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover that Paul Simon omitted is "Make a Sandwich, Heinrich." 6 hours ago
  • Still reeling over the fact that the mere juxtaposing of "Manscaped" and "Ewok" hasn't made me twitter famous for eternity. 7 hours ago
  • "You can have my cold dead fingers when you pry them from my leprous body, but why would you do that? You are mean and gross." 8 hours ago
  • Gross, these are the BEST. Hate that: RT @ApocalypseHow: Hilarious VINE insanity from @trumpetcake : bit.ly/13IT6Bo 23 hours ago
  • Would you follow the herd mentality and answer no if I asked whether you would leap off a bridge if all your friends did? 1 day ago

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